Every now and then I reach an impasse. Boredom. Stagnation. Frustration. Exhaustion. .... and then, when I am just about ready to scream, a calm washes over me and suddenly, without warning my eyes are opened and it appears that I can see clearly for the very first time in a long, long time. As my eyes begin to focus on the things that have been causing me pain and anxiety day in and day out for weeks, months, sometimes years... My soul whispers softly in my mind what my heart knows to be true: I have so bound myself to the limitations of what I 'do', I've lost complete sight of who 'I am'. At the precise moment that realization washes over me, I am set free. I am reborn.

A documentary film about one of the most widely held superstitions of all time.

What happens when you realize that your family is part of a global superstition that is neither spoken about openly nor even referred to by name? Filmmaker Agata De Santis sets out on a quest to uncover the world of MAL’OCCHIO – the evil eye – where one can become physically ill by another’s envious glances, where the only remedy is a phone call to the old woman down the street, and prevention involves wearing strange-looking amulets.

http://www.redheadproductions.com

I'm completely off of cold cuts. Except for the really dry, salt cured stuff like prosciutto, salami, soppressata. The listeriosis scare did it. Well, for us it was a scare, but people died. How sad. My favourite sangwich* meat is cooked ham. Prosciutto cotto was my replacement until I got a rank batch from Valoroso's last month. I don't blame them, but I'm off the cotto forever, for sure. Unfortunately all ham freaks me out now. Unless it's smoked and boiled in Coca-Cola.

I make my own sangwich meats now:

ham in coca cola
meatballs in tomato sauce
mini meatloaf in brown pan gravy
roast beef
roast chicken

After always being afraid of roast beef... my father had instilled in me a fear of failure and tough roast beef so I never I gave it a try, I digress. Well, let me share with you one of the most awesome discoveries I've made in a while.

I scored some pretty inexpensive top sirloin roasts at my organic grocer. I literally paid $5 a piece for two-pound roasts. I anoint the roast with some good extra virgin olive oil. then I sprinkle it all around with Mesquite spice. Crank the oven to 500 degrees F and when the oven is screaming hot, place the roast uncovered on the center rack for 7 minutes per lb. Then shut the oven off and don't, I repeat DON'T open the oven for 2.5 hours. What you get is perfect, tender, medium rare (leave it in longer if you like it pink but not bloody) roast beef. Wrap in aluminum foil and store in the fridge not longer than 3 days. It's much easier to slice cold. Mmmmmm... beefy goodness.

I feel the tide turning and changes everywhere. The need to reconnect with my spirituality and look inward grows stronger every day. Covert things are going on at my place of work and I am very uncomfortable. Yesterday I decided that it's time to throw up the shields and focus on the tasks before me to get me through this uncertain and turbulent time. Nothing has been 'said', but I do feel it. I received a transmission from my spiritual guidance: "focus on your work, maintain a low profile, and trust no one". I will heed that advice because my spiritual guidance has never led me wrong.

Physically I am feeling better than I have in a long time, except for the fatigue. I continue to push forward to attain the goals (resolutions) I set for myself for 2009. February 1st marks the first of the '90 days of taking care of me'. This includes diet, exercise, aesthetics, emotional, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. Although it appears selfish, this effort will have huge impact on my family because I can't take care of me without taking care of them. We all deserve it.

I have decided. I want to move. I almost have a clear idea of what I want. This house has served us well, and I am forever grateful for it, however the time has come to move on to something else. I will be working on my 'list' later today to focus my intentions.

I'm feeling a transition period coming on and I am once again ready to embrace changes.

I got my copy of the BK cookbook yesterday. It was waiting for me when I came home from work. I read it cover to cover. I couldn't put it down. Dinner was late.

I went over to Amazon and posted my review pronto.

I haven't been this excited about a cookbook since Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals. Sorry Nads, I had one baby and another on the way and if it weren't for Rachael it would have been takeout 7/7.

If you don't cook, there is enough humour, cheesecake, beefcake, and sarcasm to make one sexy punk-rock coffee table book about food and drink.

Check out my review, and while you're there, order yours! You know you wanna....

Eh... I loved that raven, but I felt it was time for a change.

The much-anticipated Bitchin' Kitchen Cookbook is now available. Get your very own autographed copy here!





Try out some of her tried, tested, and true recipes. Nevermind those recipes written by people who pull recipes out of their @$$ to fill a book. You've tried them, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, buy the book. Cook from the book. Then, write your review on Amazon.com, Amazon. ca, or BarnesandNoble.com. Doesn't matter if you bought your autographed copy from Nadia G.'s site, as long as you've purchased anything at all from the above sites, you can write a review.

Yes, I'm pushy, but I'm a fan, and fan's can be pushy. And scary. And psychotic. No worries, the food will turn out great and there are some pretty good-looking people -and food, photographed in that book as well as Her Chefness. What else do you need?

I will be cooking from the book and blogging about it because... I can.

Sta benedica, Rue xox.

Oops, forgot to hit 'publish'.

All the best to you and all you hold dear for 2009! Sta benedica, Rue xox

as 2008 winds down to a close and 2009 is dawning I am busy reflecting on the past year.

Firstly, I would like to take a moment to commemorate all the people dear to us who we have lost this year. My family has lost another member of the previous generation to mine. I know people who have lost parents and people who have lost children this year. My heart goes out to all of them.

Secondly, I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have prayed and raised power with me this past year. I can't thank you enough and I can't explain in words the miracles that I and those close to me have been graced with. To Jason, my Sorella Donna, Teresa, Buona, Tammy, and Ginny... I send you ten times the love and grace you have touched me and those dear to me with.

Realities. Someone dear to me is still having difficulty digesting some revelations of their own sparked by a trip to Italy to visit relatives. Our parents were indeed the ties that bound us to the rest of our bretheren. Now that they are gone, we will most likely continue to grow more and more estranged from first-cousins living on other continents. Being related does not make us family. We have nothing in common and have not known each other to have developed any kind of love or bond. It's sad really, but I had already learned that lesson 8 years ago when my father died. Once he was gone, I was indeed truly alone. I am grateful for the beautiful family I now have with my cherished husband, blessings that are my children, and loyal dog.

My profession took the forefront this past year. After being a stay-at-home-mom for 4 years it was definitely a fight to re-enter the workforce at my age and then a steep uphill climb to regain my place in society and my profession. As of late March 2008 I am exactly where I should be and all is well. My position is challenging and I am blessed to work with the most 'real' and dedicated people I have met in a long time.

In October I was interviewed on film for a documentary on Mal'occhio which will hopefully go into the editing stage in January 2009!!! It was really exciting -after I got over the shock and nerves ...a couple days after it was over, lol. I wanted my physical appearance to resemble that of my ancestors I was wanting to honour. At certain points during filming, I felt like I was channeling them. After the filming I went straight to work to change my appearance back to 'myself'. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror and frankly didn't feel comfortable. Funny how because I have only known many people that I know now for a short time, my old 'look' is all new to them. Don't feel like explaining to people who hardly know me that I wanted to look different for the documentary.... I can't wait to see it.

GOALS

My main goals are not different than the ongoing goals I already have. Continue to eat right and exercise. I dropped some 'baggage' last Fall and will continue to persevere until I reach my goal fitness level.

I will be turning my attention back to my website and weblog after a long hiatus. I have some creative plans in the works.

Now that I feel confident that my professional life is on track, my attention will be turned back to my other loves, magical practice and rustic cooking!

Domesticity. I am grateful to be practicing my profession again and the income it provides but, I do miss the order in my home. I haven't had 'order' since my first child was born! This is the year I work on the delicate balance act of full-time employed professional and all-time domestic goddess matriarch. It can be done. I'm sure of it. I've seen it. Mothers in my old neighbourhood who worked full time and managed their homes. I need a plan. More importantly, I need to be forgiving of myself when I can't do it all. This is my real challenge.

Simplicity. I want to begin to re-introduce simplicity back into my life. I miss simplicity. I will leave this thought open because it can apply to so many facets of one's life, I don't want to limit myself before I begin.

To my old friends and new friends. Thank you. Thank you for being there, but most of all for being yourselves. I look forward to many more adventures with you.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, prosperous 2009 filled with all the challenges and love you can stand!!!

Sta benedica,

Rue xox

Fall is absolutely my favourite time of the year. This year I got really lucky. We began having Fall temperatures mid-august! I find myself reflecting a lot lately. I find myself thinking about how my girls are growing and what wonderful little people they are becoming. I ponder how I enjoy my work and the wonderful people I work with.

I love Fall cooking and baking. Italian sausage with pumpkin sauce, roasted peppers, and apple cake, to name a few. What I miss the most from my life back east is the abundance of tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, I used to get for free from my family and friends' gardens. I wish we had an Italian green grocer in town. Thankfully there is the most awesome Italian food import store right across the street from my job! I make due with whatever verdura (dark leafy greens) I find at the local produce shops but it's not the same. Funny how when I lived in the big city, we shopped at the farmer's market right in the center of town. I live in a town surrounded by farms, orchards, and vineyards, and yet, I pay a premium for fresh local fruit and veggies. Boh....