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New York! Acting! Her mother touched her left breast, which always means “oh my God, I could be having a heart attack” her father yelling, her mother crying and after days of this, she succumbed, went to work for her uncle and that’s where she met Frank.

Frank: tall, dark and handsome, the typical storybook man who rode in with his Corvette, sexy smile and she felt so flattered when he asked her out.

Her friends were jealous, her mother proud she was dating “un pezzo di uomo” and her father liked the fact that his family came from the same small town he came from.

That was all fine, but she loved the way he made her feel. He taught her things she had only read about and never believed anyone could feel such pure joy and pleasure from a man’s touch. Even though he never worked a steady job, she believed when he said how he could do better, and now at 26 he wasn’t working, but he had prospects.

Living in her dream world Lilia thought that everything would be taken care of. And why would she think otherwise. She was brought up to believe all girls ever wanted to do was get married, raise a family, live close by, whether it was in a duplex or 5plex apartment, every Italian had a home, and was fed whenever necessary and the grandparents took care of the kids.

The wedding, free apartment, her mother to babysit and take care of her, even after being a married woman, yes….that’s what she grew up on…..

Do Italian families still fill their daughters’ minds with “you have to get married”?
Do parents feel happier if the man comes from their home town?
Is it right to deny your child’s dream?
These are the questions today’s Italians should be pondering….
Are you filling your kids with these thoughts and ideas?

Not everyone is meant to get married, or have children. Get the rent money that you’re supposed to get from a stranger and let your kids dream….for if not to dream we shall surely die!







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“Let me tell you bella mia, it’s not that easy. Me, I gotta say I’m not happy but not surprised that young people have sex, but how stupid can you be to get pregnant! You never heard of how you call that “safe sex”?

Beyond shocked, Lilia poured herself a glass of vino.

“So because of one stupid moment we now have to change everything just for you? Cara mia, it doesn’t work that way”.

Lilia and Frank sat there in stunned silence by what they had just heard. They thought after the shock would have worn off, she’d be pleased to be a nonna and be willing to help.
But here she was calm and spouting things they didn’t even know she knew about and it allowed them an inside to her thoughts.

Fear enveloped Lilia at what the future would hold. She loved Frank, or so she convinced herself, he was so good looking, a real “catch” as her friends often said. Ok, so he didn’t have a job, but he was getting a lot of prospects he said by hanging out at the bar in the morning. She was working as a receptionist at her uncles construction company and they’d make due if they could live upstairs.

She ran from the basement, taking 2 steps at a time until she flung herself on her bed, and lying there she reflected over what was said by her mother and all she knew was that she was 22, Frank almost 30 and she had to get married.

Lilia had grown up with this thought ever since watching Cinderella as a child and then hearing it over and over from her mom, aunts and paisans that all girls grow up, get married, have kids and take care of their family.

Stay tuned for part III



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Getting fired without warning/cause really threw me for a loop. I felt stunned/hurt/betrayed/terrified I would never find a job that paid well and I loved. I spent the next year working odd-jobs. Teaching mainly. And then, I found the right job for me for now. I say 'for now' because I don't know what tomorrow will bring and, I'm always open. However, I do foresee myself enjoying it for years if not until I retire. It is that fulfilling. This is in a nutshell what's going on in my professional life.

Now for my creative life...

In the past three years I have been interviewed by 3 authors and plagiarized by one.
I've been interviewed on the radio several times.
I have done podcasts (soon to resume).
I have maintained my website: Rue's Kitchen, for nearly 8 years now and going strong.

I have been just recently granted the honour of being asked to interview for a documentary film!!!!!!

I am so excited about this project because the subject has fascinated me my whole life. So much so, I've dedicated an entire website to it. That's all I'm going to say for now on this. Stay tuned for more deets as the time approaches.

I'm thinking of going to Montreal some time this year, but that's all up in the air and just an idea right now.

Hey... maybe I can worm my way into a little guest spot on Bitchin' Kitchen.

Hope you're all doing well, and thanks so much for all your emails.

Sta Benedica,
Rue xox

P.S. I'm grateful to Luna for consistently providing content for the Pocus. It is I who have been remiss and have not posted consistently on Mondays.

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Rue: "Hey Nadia, You always look gorgeous. My readership made up primarily of men and women into witchcraft, food -and beauty... have been adding questions about you in post scripts at the end of emails asking me magical advice. I'd really appreciate it if you can answer the following when you have a moment. Sta Benedica, Rue."


Nadia G.: "Hi Rue,

Thanks so much!

Sorry for the delayed reponse but things have been so crazy. Just got back from LA, 20 days, 11 meetings. We ended up getting repped by one of the Top 5 agencies! Woohoo!

…I’d love to do this interview, here goes:



What brand makeup are you wearing?

I wear MAC, the pigments are bold, and the variety is unreal, and when it comes to foundation it’s the only company where you’ll always find an exact match.



What brand and shade of lipstick is that red?

MAC Ruby Woo, it’s a super-matte shade so it really stays put, that’s so important with such a potent color (and all the yapping I do.)



What brand and shade of polish is that red?

It’s hard to find a great shade of red, not too orange, not too dark… but OPI has the winner: NL W41.



What perfume do you wear?

I love Dolce&Gabanna Red (for nighttime wear.) Daytime its all about Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune by Guerlain. It’s a light grapefruit/ herbal scent that’s so clean and relaxing. For a cheaper, sweet scent I enjoy LUSH solid perfume in ‘Honey I Washed the Kids’.



Who does your makeup for BK?

Sandra Trimarco, she’s the best.



Why did you drop the rockabilly look, it was so hot?

I love the rockabilly esthetic but I like to mix it up. My fashion sense resides under the big umbrella of rock n’ roll, so from dirty punk to Betsey Johnson to vintage 50’s dresses, bring it on.

XONG"


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An Italian beauty, Lilia stood average height with above average looks. Her chestnut coloured hair in long curls framing her olive skinned face as her big brown eyes lit up with happiness as she hugged her mother.

Lilia’s mother, a shorter version was cooking over a hot stove, in typical “mamma fashion” with her apron on, hair in curlers and a wooden spoon in hand hugged her daughter as tears fell upon her wrinkled cheek.

The proud father got up and shook Frank’s hand and brought him over to the table, pouring some homemade wine into a tiny glass and was now patting him on the back.

Lilia’s mother walked over and hugged her soon to be son in law and asked, “When’s the wedding?”

They stood there for a moment in silence and Lilia said, “This September”.

Her mother waved her hands in the air saying, “but that leaves us only have a few months to prepare, why can’t you wait till after your sister’s married?”

Lilia’s face reddened as she sat down and told her parents to do the same.

Her father was the first to say, “Yah gotta get married, is that it?”

Lilia’s eyes filled with tears as Frank reached over to pour himself another glass of vino and he replied with a little stutter in his voice, “it happened and now I’ll take care of it”.

“Take care of it! What kind of answer is that?” Lilia’s mother was now crying and shaking her head as a curler fell to the floor. “How can we have your wedding before her sisters without people talking …ah Madonna che vergogna!!!”

“Ma, we were thinking of having a very quiet wedding, just la famiglia, we’d move upstairs and after the baby’s here it would be perfect, us close by and you could take care of the baby while we go to work”.

Part II next week……


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