Wait! I'm not done yet »

So, it costs you $60 bucks to get in (like a cover charge) and they “encourage” you to bring a gift!!! This astounded me! Actually it disgusted me! The money you gave at the door was always put towards the “gifts”, now it’s more of a money making scheme for the bride to get a lot more than she ever bargained for.

The invite said 5pm, my mom and aunt got there at 6, the bride didn’t get there till 6.30. She walked in with her fidanzato (fiancé), they had a dance and he left.

You’ve heard me use the word “cafone” several times, but this party really is the cherry on the parfait of all cafoneria!!!

This bridal shower had both moms in competition to see who would outdo the other. Not a very good combo, as that always makes for a few “moments” that will stand out and hey get written about like I am right now!

The hall was decorated as usual in the bridal colours of pink and white, everyone was given an umbrella as they walked in (which in turn is the bonbonniere). You find your name, find your table and now the show begins!!!

Throughout the meal gifts were being opened and toasts given by the brides’ mom, mother in law, sister and sister in law…what astonished my mom was what was coming out of their mouths.

Seems like the mom of the bride went on and on about how her family’s the best, they do everything together and they discuss everything before anyone does something. Ok, a little much, but then the sister got up and reiterated the exact same thing.

You can overdo something and it seems that this entire affair was overdone.
The MC, as usual, was some has-been, who couldn’t really speak proper English and his Italian wasn’t any better.

Part III next week!




« Okay, that's it.

Wait! I'm not done yet »

Growing up in the 70’s I went to a lot of showers with my mother and family. They’d be held in reception halls, with about 70 women. Tables of 8 or 10, with a lot food, the old nonna’s who couldn’t be bothered but were there for “figura”, the MC some old has been “wanna be” who laughed at his own jokes, while games were played and prizes given. The gifts were many times duplicated and in triplicate until someone figured out “hey let’s have these brides register”.

After the meal, the men showed up!!! That’s when the bar opened, and dancing. Times changed, so did this tradition of the men showing up, but for the most part a lot of brides are stuck with these very out dated bridal parties.

I didn’t get it then and when I was getting married in 1986 decided I didn’t want that kind of shower…and of course always the non-conformist, my mom and I planned my shower.

Usually it’s a “surprise” whereby you’re fiancée drives you to the designated place and you’re surprised!!! Like you don’t know when your mom yells out, “get dressed up nice today”…..

So, my mom and I planned it ourselves, I made out a gift list (I was ahead of my time as now it’s called a bridal registry) and we had a nice supper at a restaurant, no games, no silly gifts that would embarrass the older women there and we were about 30 women.

Over the years, I went to many showers for friends and the one’s that were not Italian had nice bridal showers where only the girl friends came and there was usually a theme and it was “lingerie” with a stripper at the event. Ok, a few laughs, maybe too much booze, but hey…better than those Italian shindigs!

I have not been to a shower in 3 years and I vowed afterwards unless it was someone terribly close to me, I would never go to another one ever again!!!

So when an invitation came a few weeks ago, I answered “no” but my mom and aunt went, more out of obligation than anything else.

Stay tuned for part II



« Okay, that's it.

Wait! I'm not done yet »

New York! Acting! Her mother touched her left breast, which always means “oh my God, I could be having a heart attack” her father yelling, her mother crying and after days of this, she succumbed, went to work for her uncle and that’s where she met Frank.

Frank: tall, dark and handsome, the typical storybook man who rode in with his Corvette, sexy smile and she felt so flattered when he asked her out.

Her friends were jealous, her mother proud she was dating “un pezzo di uomo” and her father liked the fact that his family came from the same small town he came from.

That was all fine, but she loved the way he made her feel. He taught her things she had only read about and never believed anyone could feel such pure joy and pleasure from a man’s touch. Even though he never worked a steady job, she believed when he said how he could do better, and now at 26 he wasn’t working, but he had prospects.

Living in her dream world Lilia thought that everything would be taken care of. And why would she think otherwise. She was brought up to believe all girls ever wanted to do was get married, raise a family, live close by, whether it was in a duplex or 5plex apartment, every Italian had a home, and was fed whenever necessary and the grandparents took care of the kids.

The wedding, free apartment, her mother to babysit and take care of her, even after being a married woman, yes….that’s what she grew up on…..

Do Italian families still fill their daughters’ minds with “you have to get married”?
Do parents feel happier if the man comes from their home town?
Is it right to deny your child’s dream?
These are the questions today’s Italians should be pondering….
Are you filling your kids with these thoughts and ideas?

Not everyone is meant to get married, or have children. Get the rent money that you’re supposed to get from a stranger and let your kids dream….for if not to dream we shall surely die!







« Okay, that's it.