Are You Dragging Around a Bunch of Ghouls?

I think I can confidently say that I've tried almost every method of divination at the exception of the I Ching. My least favorite is what is commonly called a 'talking board', also known as Ouija(TM). It's also the method of spirit contact that has provided me with the most stories over the years. Ouija boards do work, but the sort of beings you are likely to attract is directly related to the level of spiritual development of the participants and their intent. Also, the level of preparation and location has to be taken into account.

It's autumn 1988. My friend Romi, her employer at the time, Lori, and myself were sitting around Lori's kitchen table. Chit-chat led Romi to talk about one of her favorite games, the Ouija board. Lori's face lights up. She wants Romi to go home and get it. I state that it would take less time to make one. Within minutes. Romi and I are cutting out the letters of the alphabet and numerals 0-9, the words YES, NO, HELLO, GOOD-BYE. We arranged all these on the bare kitchen table. Lori takes a crystal wine glass out of her credenza and a dinner candle. Candle lit, lights dimmed we begin: "Ouija, are you here?" Romi and I had our fingertips lightly on the glass. It moved towards HELLO. Lori jumps out of her chair and practically shoves me off of mine to take my place on the indicator. It just devolves from there.

Both Romi and Lori are firing questions at the 'spirit' without a taking a breath. The glass is practically flying all over the kitchen table in order to keep up with their incessant interrogation. They didn't take turns, they often interrupted each other and to top it all off when the answer was unclear, they were rude! All my talking board stories you will read will have a common theme. Common courtesy appeals to the dead as well as the living. It's now 30 minutes and they are still going at it. I'm taking notes. Someone has to keep track of the questions and answers. They're both rabid. Their questions ranged from the classic "is the guy I'm presently in love with my future husband" all the way to the meaningless crap like: "should I dye my hair red?"

Suddenly I started to hear a high-pitched sound on the left side of my head. The atmosphere grew really still and the kitchen table began to vibrate. Romi and Lori are too involved with their questions to notice. I'm frozen to my seat. Then Lori yells at the 'spirit' "What do you mean you don't know? What the fuck are you good for?" The glass explodes shattering into hundreds of tiny shards. I brought my hand up to my face just in time to feel a shard hit the palm of my hand. Lori had a shard embedded in one of the lenses of her glasses (could have just as easily been in her eye!) Romi, nothing. Just shock. We didn't even stay to clean up. Romi and I were outta there. We distinctly felt something following us home. Not sure what. Felt benign though. We went to Saint Joseph's Oratory the next day to light votives against demons just in case.

Lori on the other hand reported nightmares and events resembling a haunting. She ended up spending lots of money on 'experts' to help her get rid of it. Her life had already begun it's tailspin though. Her health, finances, marriage all took a downturn. It had been nearly a year after the incident when it turned out that a good old-fashioned house blessing by the parish priest did the job. It got rid of it, but sadly her health was poor, she was broke and up to her ears in debt, and her second marriage was over.

Earthbound spirits are the one's most likely to show up at a seance or talking board session. These entities are still very 'human' in their motivations and on the most part don't have any more insight than you or I do. Sometimes even less. One thing is for sure, we can piss them off. I'm not ready to dismiss her misfortune as coincidence yet.