“Ya got it all figured out, eh!?? So we have to kick out our tenants that have been here for over 5 years, change our entire life so you can go to work, live upstairs for free and have la bella vita, is that it?
Lilia’s face now looked shocked as she never expected this from her mother.
“Let me tell you bella mia, it’s not that easy. Me, I gotta say I’m not happy but not surprised that young people have sex, but how stupid can you be to get pregnant! You never heard of how you call that “safe sex”?
Beyond shocked, Lilia poured herself a glass of vino.
“So because of one stupid moment we now have to change everything just for you? Cara mia, it doesn’t work that way”.
Lilia and Frank sat there in stunned silence by what they had just heard. They thought after the shock would have worn off, she’d be pleased to be a nonna and be willing to help.
But here she was calm and spouting things they didn’t even know she knew about and it allowed them an inside to her thoughts.
Fear enveloped Lilia at what the future would hold. She loved Frank, or so she convinced herself, he was so good looking, a real “catch” as her friends often said. Ok, so he didn’t have a job, but he was getting a lot of prospects he said by hanging out at the bar in the morning. She was working as a receptionist at her uncles construction company and they’d make due if they could live upstairs.
She ran from the basement, taking 2 steps at a time until she flung herself on her bed, and lying there she reflected over what was said by her mother and all she knew was that she was 22, Frank almost 30 and she had to get married.
Lilia had grown up with this thought ever since watching Cinderella as a child and then hearing it over and over from her mom, aunts and paisans that all girls grow up, get married, have kids and take care of their family.
I don't know where to begin, so I'll just start anywhere and you'll have to follow my train of thought. Sorry .
I lost my job last year. A job I really enjoyed that had perks beyond perks. I got to drive in with my family every morning, have lunch with my lovey several times per week, drive back home with my family, it was a mon-fri office type deal, and I was happy. Then I got fired. Wrongfully. Went to my association rep. Submitted my case for arbitration and up until now it has gone... nowhere. I'm not holding my breath and frankly I've moved on. When and if there is a resolution, I'll let you know.
Getting fired without warning/cause really threw me for a loop. I felt stunned/hurt/betrayed/terrified I would never find a job that paid well and I loved. I spent the next year working odd-jobs. Teaching mainly. And then, I found the right job for me for now. I say 'for now' because I don't know what tomorrow will bring and, I'm always open. However, I do foresee myself enjoying it for years if not until I retire. It is that fulfilling. This is in a nutshell what's going on in my professional life.
Now for my creative life...
In the past three years I have been interviewed by 3 authors and plagiarized by one.
I've been interviewed on the radio several times.
I have done podcasts (soon to resume).
I have maintained my website: Rue's Kitchen, for nearly 8 years now and going strong.
I have been just recently granted the honour of being asked to interview for a documentary film!!!!!!
I am so excited about this project because the subject has fascinated me my whole life. So much so, I've dedicated an entire website to it. That's all I'm going to say for now on this. Stay tuned for more deets as the time approaches.
I'm thinking of going to Montreal some time this year, but that's all up in the air and just an idea right now.
Hey... maybe I can worm my way into a little guest spot on Bitchin' Kitchen.
Hope you're all doing well, and thanks so much for all your emails.
Sta Benedica,
Rue xox
P.S. I'm grateful to Luna for consistently providing content for the Pocus. It is I who have been remiss and have not posted consistently on Mondays.
A while back I emailed Nadia G. some of your questions you had emailed to me. I'm not sure about the grammar of that last sentence, however I'll try not to let it bother me. Anyway, I was delighted to receive a reply, and then I couldn't find the time to post it -until now. So without further ado, here's a little cosmetic p#rn from the lady who always brings a little bitchin' to the Kitchen, Nadia G.
Rue: "Hey Nadia, You always look gorgeous. My readership made up primarily of men and women into witchcraft, food -and beauty... have been adding questions about you in post scripts at the end of emails asking me magical advice. I'd really appreciate it if you can answer the following when you have a moment. Sta Benedica, Rue."
Nadia G.: "Hi Rue,
Thanks so much!
Sorry for the delayed reponse but things have been so crazy. Just got back from LA, 20 days, 11 meetings. We ended up getting repped by one of the Top 5 agencies! Woohoo!
…I’d love to do this interview, here goes:
What brand makeup are you wearing?
I wear MAC, the pigments are bold, and the variety is unreal, and when it comes to foundation it’s the only company where you’ll always find an exact match.
What brand and shade of lipstick is that red?
MAC Ruby Woo, it’s a super-matte shade so it really stays put, that’s so important with such a potent color (and all the yapping I do.)
What brand and shade of polish is that red?
It’s hard to find a great shade of red, not too orange, not too dark… but OPI has the winner: NL W41.
What perfume do you wear?
I love Dolce&Gabanna Red (for nighttime wear.) Daytime its all about Aqua Allegoria Pamplelune by Guerlain. It’s a light grapefruit/ herbal scent that’s so clean and relaxing. For a cheaper, sweet scent I enjoy LUSH solid perfume in ‘Honey I Washed the Kids’.
Why did you drop the rockabilly look, it was so hot?
I love the rockabilly esthetic but I like to mix it up. My fashion sense resides under the big umbrella of rock n’ roll, so from dirty punk to Betsey Johnson to vintage 50’s dresses, bring it on.
I met Luna at a time in my life where I was stepping out into uncharted territory. I ended an unhealthy relationship with a man I was involved with for nearly 8 years and began a healthy relationship with myself. Armed with my hopes, dreams, and a burning desire to dive head-first into the unknown, I headed over to her house -regularly. Luna's impact was enormous and is felt in my life until this day. Even now, her voice comforts me and her bright light and energy always stokes mine. I love her dearly and I hope, that all who need her, find her. ~Rue
“Ma, I’m getting married!” were the words that Lilia uttered as she ran into the basement of her parents home, while her boyfriend stood in the doorway with a strange look on his face.
An Italian beauty, Lilia stood average height with above average looks. Her chestnut coloured hair in long curls framing her olive skinned face as her big brown eyes lit up with happiness as she hugged her mother.
Lilia’s mother, a shorter version was cooking over a hot stove, in typical “mamma fashion” with her apron on, hair in curlers and a wooden spoon in hand hugged her daughter as tears fell upon her wrinkled cheek.
The proud father got up and shook Frank’s hand and brought him over to the table, pouring some homemade wine into a tiny glass and was now patting him on the back.
Lilia’s mother walked over and hugged her soon to be son in law and asked, “When’s the wedding?”
They stood there for a moment in silence and Lilia said, “This September”.
Her mother waved her hands in the air saying, “but that leaves us only have a few months to prepare, why can’t you wait till after your sister’s married?”
Lilia’s face reddened as she sat down and told her parents to do the same.
Her father was the first to say, “Yah gotta get married, is that it?”
Lilia’s eyes filled with tears as Frank reached over to pour himself another glass of vino and he replied with a little stutter in his voice, “it happened and now I’ll take care of it”.
“Take care of it! What kind of answer is that?” Lilia’s mother was now crying and shaking her head as a curler fell to the floor. “How can we have your wedding before her sisters without people talking …ah Madonna che vergogna!!!”
“Ma, we were thinking of having a very quiet wedding, just la famiglia, we’d move upstairs and after the baby’s here it would be perfect, us close by and you could take care of the baby while we go to work”.
The throwing of the bouquet and garter belt is another one I have a hard time with. It becomes some stampede of single women all waiting to catch it, as they are next in line to get married. How about a lot of singles that don’t want to get married sitting there enjoying a Cosmo. You have some idiot yelling “get out there and see if it’s your turn!” That’s usually when I give a look, and that’s interpreted as the evil eye for a lot of Italians.
Then you have the garter belt ritual, while the brides sitting there and her husband is taking the garter belt off with his teeth, there’s a circle of men gawking at her exposed leg. What is up with that????
Making noise with your cutlery on the plates indicates you wish the bride and groom to kiss, that one I enjoy, as you see some really passionate couples going at it, much to the chagrin of the mother in law, I love it!
The one toast that really needs to be removed is when they say “aguri figlio maschio” which literally means, “congratulations, and hope you have a boy” I have always felt this was the most demeaning thing you can say to anyone. What of all the lovely young women sitting there thinking “don’t women mean anything”. That’s gotta go!
There’s one that you don’t see very much, thank God…and it was when money was pinned onto the wedding dress by other men so they can dance with the bride. Here’s where a lot of smelly, older men got their kicks and the bride had to endure it!
There’s never been a tradition whereby women got to shove money in a groom’s belt for a dance, hey now that’s an idea!
Seriously, why would anyone have to pay for a dance? Old tradition was that the couple got to make a few extra bucks, well with times a changing, women felt it wasn’t something they didn’t want to do anymore and let’s be honest here, you’ve already given the envelope with money, you’ve more than paid your way in! So dance with your own wife!
Tradition is what makes a culture and it’s wonderful to keep the ones you wish to keep because they mean something to you, but not because you have to make others happy.
Please join me in wishing our very own Italian Duchess a very happy birthday and all the best wishes for a wonderful year filled with all her heart's desires!
Is there some book somewhere stashed in a cave, or wooden stove that holds all the rules and menus that people have had for the past 100 years? Who writes these rules and why do people feel they have to stick to it, vs. making suggestions and making it more about being about enjoying and revelling in a special time of year with family and friends.
Whether it is Easter, Christmas, a wedding or bridal shower….there’s some book somewhere that holds a slew of ridiculous rules. Don’t get me wrong, some traditions are great….but as time goes by and people’s philosophies and mentalities change, so should tradition and here are some of my favourites to rant on!
Over a family supper the other night, the conversation went to an upcoming bridal shower of a 3rd cousin. I had already called and said that I wasn’t going, as it would be a typical Italian shower held in a reception hall, about 100 women with a dull MC with a really big ego who plays a bunch of stupid games to get the party going.
The cover charge for each person was $60 and at the bottom of the invitation was where the bride was registered. So, if you want to go, it would cost you well over $200!
I hadn’t seen this young woman in over 3 years; her wedding would be the month after so another $150 per person is required to give as a gift…. Yes, it’s that expensive to go to a wedding today. You’re wondering who made up that rule “the per person” gift of money. Well, it’s been around for as long as I can remember, so at the end of the night, there’s well over 50 grand in cash and cheques in a box waiting to be counted so the party, band and whoever else can be paid from it.
How did I come up with that figure, well it’s the wedding list. It starts off with family and friends and then all the extended people from that and you end up with 300 people. 90% of whom the bride and groom don’t even know, but to make their parents happy they go along with it.
Another tradition of the bride being in white…even if it’s her 2nd or 3rd wedding, mmmmmmmm, what does white represent again? Right! So how can you walk down the aisle again, in white, as the first time already was a stretch! Ok, my cynicism is showing…..How about this as a new rule, your 1st time around I can see that…but after that, make it a sexy cocktail dress!
I am Rue of Rue's Kitchen. My praxis is both mundane and arcane, often seamlessly blending the sacred and the profane. I am a seer and a healer. More importantly, I am wise enough to know not take myself too seriously. Thank you for reading my blog.
"A trente ans, une femme doit choisir entre son derrière et son visage."
--Coco Chanel
"I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now."
Being from an Italian dad and a french Canadian mother, I've seen alot at weddings. I'll agree I've seen some degrading things. I remember at my cousins wedding (french side), the men danced with the bride and pinned money to her dress but also the women danced with the groom and pinned money to his tux. Luckily my dad didn't want that at my wedding.
I have to admit the whole garter dealie doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either. Neither does the table centrepiece giveaway... How many table-sized colour-coded custom vases can you possibly use?
Hi Rue, Happy New Year!!! Where have I been, your site looks great. It's been since October but I'm glad to have something good to read daily again. All the best in the new year for you and your loved ones. (:
“A philosopher once wrote you need three things to have a good life. One, a meaningful relationship, two, a decent job of work, and three, to make a difference. And it was always that third one that stressed me, to make a difference. And I realise that I do. Every day, we all do. It’s how we interact, with our fellow man.”
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What brand and shade of lipstick is that red?
What brand and shade of polish is that red?
I love Dolce&Gabanna Red (for nighttime wear.) Daytime its all about