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New York! Acting! Her mother touched her left breast, which always means “oh my God, I could be having a heart attack” her father yelling, her mother crying and after days of this, she succumbed, went to work for her uncle and that’s where she met Frank.

Frank: tall, dark and handsome, the typical storybook man who rode in with his Corvette, sexy smile and she felt so flattered when he asked her out.

Her friends were jealous, her mother proud she was dating “un pezzo di uomo” and her father liked the fact that his family came from the same small town he came from.

That was all fine, but she loved the way he made her feel. He taught her things she had only read about and never believed anyone could feel such pure joy and pleasure from a man’s touch. Even though he never worked a steady job, she believed when he said how he could do better, and now at 26 he wasn’t working, but he had prospects.

Living in her dream world Lilia thought that everything would be taken care of. And why would she think otherwise. She was brought up to believe all girls ever wanted to do was get married, raise a family, live close by, whether it was in a duplex or 5plex apartment, every Italian had a home, and was fed whenever necessary and the grandparents took care of the kids.

The wedding, free apartment, her mother to babysit and take care of her, even after being a married woman, yes….that’s what she grew up on…..

Do Italian families still fill their daughters’ minds with “you have to get married”?
Do parents feel happier if the man comes from their home town?
Is it right to deny your child’s dream?
These are the questions today’s Italians should be pondering….
Are you filling your kids with these thoughts and ideas?

Not everyone is meant to get married, or have children. Get the rent money that you’re supposed to get from a stranger and let your kids dream….for if not to dream we shall surely die!







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“Let me tell you bella mia, it’s not that easy. Me, I gotta say I’m not happy but not surprised that young people have sex, but how stupid can you be to get pregnant! You never heard of how you call that “safe sex”?

Beyond shocked, Lilia poured herself a glass of vino.

“So because of one stupid moment we now have to change everything just for you? Cara mia, it doesn’t work that way”.

Lilia and Frank sat there in stunned silence by what they had just heard. They thought after the shock would have worn off, she’d be pleased to be a nonna and be willing to help.
But here she was calm and spouting things they didn’t even know she knew about and it allowed them an inside to her thoughts.

Fear enveloped Lilia at what the future would hold. She loved Frank, or so she convinced herself, he was so good looking, a real “catch” as her friends often said. Ok, so he didn’t have a job, but he was getting a lot of prospects he said by hanging out at the bar in the morning. She was working as a receptionist at her uncles construction company and they’d make due if they could live upstairs.

She ran from the basement, taking 2 steps at a time until she flung herself on her bed, and lying there she reflected over what was said by her mother and all she knew was that she was 22, Frank almost 30 and she had to get married.

Lilia had grown up with this thought ever since watching Cinderella as a child and then hearing it over and over from her mom, aunts and paisans that all girls grow up, get married, have kids and take care of their family.

Stay tuned for part III



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