Strange as it is to use these words in this day and age yet they are forever etched in the minds of Italians no matter how old or what the generation is.
Yes, Italians are encouraging their girls to get an education, yet in the deep recesses of their minds they still throw in the adage that “find a man; he’ll take care of you”.
What does that mean anymore? Who’s taking care of whom? Ever notice it’s mostly the woman that taking care of the household, pay the bills, run errands, groceries, and yet “he’s taking care of you”. As he’s at the bar, drinking coffee, playing “billiardini” laughing it up with his friends, or maybe even sliding the salami where he shouldn’t be.
And this is what Italians want for their daughters, better this, than being over 30 and unmarried. Yes, for Italians this is the “vergonia” they feel for their daughters who are unmarried, over 30 and God forbid living on their own! Because that would mean you may be entertaining men, enjoying life and creating juicy gossip. I say, “Who cares!” But that’s me, coming from a mixed background being half Italian and thanking God that I had the influence of an “Anglo” background.
It’s amazing to me as I realize not much has changed, for the men are doing what they want, when they want. With pride the parents feel their son’s a real “stallion” and being careless with revealing information on who they’ve done and how many times. (Never realizing the women they are with, are someone’s daughter). Yet the daughters are being drilled to being “virtuous” as a man does not like damaged goods. (What an archaic term, yet used in many households).
The only damage I see is what the Italian parents have done to their daughter’s self esteem! Shame and guilt run rampant with Italian women; I see it all too often as a coach many of my clients are Italian women in the 40’s. Strangely enough they’ve got teenage sons and daughters and are doing the same thing that was done to them some 25 years ago.
When does it end? How does it change? With all change comes fear of the unknown, being a pariah or just laziness in thinking that somebody else will do it. It’s about taking a stand and not leaving it for others to take care of. It’s about teaching kids that respect and integrity are vital for both men and women and when you choose to have sex do it because you want to and feel that you’re ready to enjoy and are mature enough to take responsibility in that it is because it’s a natural part of living and enjoying another person.
What am I thinking? This will take generations and even then….the double standard will always exist. Have we come far as women, to some degree and yet so much remains the same in the deep recesses of people’s minds.
I didn't make in time this year otherwise the compilation of my favourite Halloween recipes would have been available for purchase on Lulu.com. Truth be told, I could have made it, cutting it close, if I had had the time and especially patience to figure out how to upload my text to their site. Oh well, perhaps next year.
I myself am lactose intolerant and I admit that I push the envelope quite a bit by popping lactase capsules, but every now and then I go a little too far. Currently I am experiencing a little body flare-up resulting in round the clock heartburn. Therefore I've had to cut the dairy right out. This does not preclude me from knowing that the following is a very nice recipe. Simple, balanced, comfort food.
APPLE CHEESE SPREAD
INGREDIENTS
1 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
1 c. grated cheddar cheese (I love extra-old cheddar. Roquefort is a nice twist instead of cheddar as well. Use whatever you like!)
1/4 c. sour cream
dash of sugar
pinch of salt
pinch of cinnamon
pinch of black pepper
1 c. chopped apple with peel
1/2 c. chopped celery
1/2 c. chopped pecans
1/4 c. diced red onion
PREPARATION
Mix together the cream cheese and cheddar cheese until well blended. I like using my Kitchen Aid mixer and paddle attachment for this. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Serve with crackers and fresh vegetables.
I found this old pic today after having tucked it away a couple years ago maybe, not remembering where I had placed it. It was shot by my dearest Luna after an evening of too many drinks and too many smokes. It was a hot summer night and I got the goofy idea to throw a scarf around my head and pop my shades on and have my picture taken. The year was 1997, and what a year it was! Just a couple months prior to the photo I had junked my creepy ex-husband and met the man of my dreams. Seemed like a dream or a fairy-tale, but it wasn't, because ten years later, I'm still living the dream. But that's not the point of this post.
When my dad died in 2000 although I didn't want to acknowledge/accept/whatever it, something in me did snap. The obvious is facing my own mortality, but more than that I became fearful. Fearful. I then began to draw into my life all the the things I feared the most. The New Age mantra of what we focus on augments is not lost on me at the moment that I am writing this but... it was lost on me for the longest time. I'm not "The Secret" type by any stretch of the imagination, altough I have been known to rock the old school New Age shit pretty hard. I digress.
I'm no longer the person in this picture. I don't look like her, act like her, think like her or even feel like her. I have lost my way. I think it's time she set me straight. I owe her everything. She was strong. She was brave. She was FEARLESS. If it weren't for her working so hard becoming me, I don't know who I would be. I'm glad she came to visit me tonight. She has made me see that in fact, I have the power to choose fearlessness once again.
Happiness is letting go of fear. Love is perfection.
The following is one of my favourite Rachael Ray recipes. She is much maligned lately and frankly I just think that's fucked up. If it weren't for Rachael Ray I never would have figured out how to make my favourite Italian comfort dishes in 30 minutes or less. The average Italian comfort food, say a Bolognese sauce takes a minimum of 4 hours to simmer to perfection. This is not counting the near hour of prep! This is the perfect dish to warm and comfort you on a cold, wet, Autumn evening:
PASTA WITH PUMPKIN AND SAUSAGE -Rachael Ray
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus 1 tablespoon
1 pound bulk sweet Italian sausage
4 cloves garlic, cracked and chopped
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 bay leaf, fresh or dried
4 to 6 sprigs sage leaves, cut into chiffonade, about 2 tablespoons
1 cup dry white wine
1 cup chicken stock, canned or paper container
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup (3 turns around the pan) heavy cream
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg, ground or freshly grated
Coarse salt and black pepper
1 pound penne rigate, cooked to al dente
Romano or Parmigiano, for grating
Heat a large, deep nonstick skillet over medium high heat. Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil to the pan and brown the sausage in it. Transfer sausage to paper towel lined plate. Drain fat from skillet and return pan to the stove. Add the remaining tablespoon oil, and then the garlic and onion. Saute 3 to 5 minutes until the onions are tender.
Add bay leaf, sage, and wine to the pan. Reduce wine by half, about 2 minutes. Add stock and pumpkin and stir to combine, stirring sauce until it comes to a bubble. Return sausage to pan, reduce heat, and stir in cream. Season the sauce with the cinnamon and nutmeg, and salt and pepper, to taste. Simmer mixture 5 to 10 minutes to thicken sauce.
Return drained pasta to the pot you cooked it in. Remove the bay leaf from sauce and pour the sausage pumpkin sauce over pasta. Combine sauce and pasta and toss over low heat for 1 minute. Garnish the pasta with lots of shaved cheese and sage leaves.
Serve pumpkin sausage pasta with pumpernickel or whole grain bread and Spinach Salad with Apple and Red Onion.
Pride and ego are the Italian man’s 2 biggest traits and if you cross either one you are in for quite the scene.
Her father looked at her with eyes that were giving off so much heat it would have melted ice and said to her, “as long as you’re under my roof, you live by my rules”
Her response, “so I guess it’s time I leave!” if anything could have enraged him more, this was it!
As he began shouting in Italian, and throwing very colorful metaphors throughout his tirade, her mother started to cry and was saying how she can’t leave before getting married, what would the “paesans” and neighbors think!
This was not the first time she’s heard this from her mom, actually she’s been hearing this all her life. “What will others think?” Italians don’t live to keep up for the Jones’s but they live for the Jones’s! It’s all about how it looks, what’s bigger, newer, brighter, who’s kids are cuter, smarter, and taller and God forbid if you’re child doesn’t speak by the age of 18 months!
As the yelling continued, supper was getting cold, her brother who’s younger than her got up to leave and said, “why’s is it such a big deal, I’ve been coming home late since I’m 17!”
“It’s different for boys!!!!” yelled the father with sweat trickling down his forehead.
This was all she could muster and she through her napkin on the table, looked at me and said,” let’s get the f*** outta here! They are killing me.”
As we walked out with the brother in front of us, her father said, “If you walk out now, don’t think you can ever come back!”
The food looked delicious as a short, full figured woman with salt and pepper hair kept bringing out plates. On top of what was already there, something that looks like green spinach came out, I was told this is “rapini”, and it’s good for you! Of course I know it’s good for me, I grew up on it! 2 different types of cheese not cut up but the entire block appeared with some olives and a huge loaf of bread.
Wow! What a feast and it was only a Tuesday night! Yes, this is typical or should I say stereotypical of what “real” Italian families are still like. I admit I grew up in an Italian neighborhood, but with a twist, as my mom is English so although she had integrated into Italianism from cooking to speaking I had the benefits of coming home to homemade chocolate chip cookies and an English speaking environment.
Out of the garage walked in her father, her brother (good looking dude) and an old woman who is “la nonna” (grandmother) and now as we sat down I chuckled to myself as memories flooded my mind of being a child came to me with my “nonna” and her warped sense of humour and way of speaking with proverbs laced throughout every conversation.
The father sits at the head of the table, the brother parks his ass and does not move, the mother and any other female parade the food out, clean up the plates quickly and you almost don’t know what hit you as your stuffing yourself with delicious food, homemade vino and there’s dessert, coffee and fruit coming…..
So we’re all sitting around the table and the father begins to fill his plate, cuts the bread and asks his daughter why she came home late last night.
Ok, you have to be brought up to speed. I’m a soon to be 45 year old (Anglo-Italian Canadian) and have been invited to a new friend’s home for the 1st time. She’s 32, single and lives at home. I was married years ago, am now single and have been for many years. I live on my own, come and go as I please, revel in every moment of peace and my philosophy is “single and loving it!”
My friend looks at me as if seeking support to respond to her father’s question and then she just lashes out, “it’s my life and I’ll do what I want!”
I could see the fathers face quickly going red as 2 cardinal rules have been broken:
1, yelling at an elder and 2, yelling in front of a stranger
Which is worse, to be honest they are pretty equally bad in the face of an Italian father and you’ll have to stay tuned for Part III.
It's been ages since I've lost interest in all Llewellyn has put out in the Witchcraft/Magic/Divination category and, very much like the New Age scene, the current generation of authors have nothing new to add. They are all just re-hashing the same ol' same ol' that the authors they reference in their bibliographies (when they reference their sources), have already said. I cringe when I read how this new generation of authors 'tweak' the lingo to make their 'ideas' sound new. Right.
It's a long time I don't use cards, but these, I love. They are the right size, have a smooth finish, bold colours and are based on the classic LeNormand (clairvoyant to Napoleon) system of fortune telling. These are not Tarot cards. On the contrary, they are perfect for delving into the mundane.
For a time they were nearly impossible to obtain. I suspect they may be widely available again. Otherwise, there's always evilBay!
There are days when only Thai will do. Below is the recipe that inspires me everytime I need re-balancing. You know what I mean. Too much eat out, too much take out, too many frozen dinners, too many 'snack' dinners. No matter how discombobulated you're feeling whether spiritually, mentally or physically, Thai flavours will set everything straight. I've even had the experience that it hastens recovery time from a head cold, I kid you not. I prefer tofu and really mainly use this recipe as a guide. Which is exactly what Michael Smith intended!
A recipe is merely words on paper; a guideline, a starting point from which to improvise. It cannot pretend to replace the practiced hand and telling glance of a watchful cook. For that reason, this is also an account of what happens when I make this dish, so you’ll understand each step. Of course when you cook it once, it becomes yours, so personalize it a bit. Add more of an ingredient you like or less of something you don’t like. Try substituting one ingredient for another. Remember words have no flavour, you have to add your own!
I love being a culinary tourist in my own kitchen! The flavours of Thailand are easy to cook with when you understand that they’re just the ingredients that surround Thai cooks. They may seem exotic – and may take some hunting to find – but use them a few times and they’ll be as familiar to you as anything else in your kitchen.
Ingredients:
Red Thai Curry Noodles
* 2 x 398 ml cans of coconut milk
* 2 tbsp of red curry paste
* 1 bunch of cilantro, roots and leaves chopped separately
* 2 x boneless, skinless chicken breasts, thinly sliced
* 3 cups of chicken stock
* 6 x lime leaves
* 1 x small ginger root, frozen
* 3 tbsp of fish sauce
* 2 stalks of lemon grass, tops cut off and the bottoms split open
* 1 x 227 gram package of rice noodles
* 1 cup bean sprouts
* 4 x green onions, minced
Directions:
Red Thai Curry Noodles
1. Preheat a large saucepan over medium-high heat then scoop the thick coconut cream from the top of one of the cans into it. Add the red curry paste as the cream melts into coconut oil. The mixture will start to sizzle as the oil then heats up. Add the cilantro roots and chicken and stir-fry until the chicken is cooked through, about 5 minutes.
2. Add the coconut juice from the first can as well as the entire contents of the second can of coconut milk, chicken stock, lime leaves, fish sauce and lemon grass. Grate the frozen ginger into the broth - noting how much easier it is to work with when it's frozen! Use a microplane grater if you have one or the side of a box grater. Simmer for 20 minutes, until the broth has begun to thicken slightly. Add the bean sprouts and simmer another minute or 2. Remove from the heat.
3. Place the rice noodles into the broth where they will quickly soften in about 5 minutes. Add all but 2 tablespoons of the cilantro leaves and stir gently.
4. Ladle into large bowls and garnish with the green onions and the remaining cilantro.
I work in the health profession and was floored to see the following hoax email taped onto the microwave in the kitchenette yesterday. Now please note I work in an office that comprises of intelligent educated people who purport to champion, support and promote 'evidence-based practice'.
Yeah.
BTW, the lead in lipstick is a hoax as well... THANK GOD.
Being from an Italian dad and a french Canadian mother, I've seen alot at weddings. I'll agree I've seen some degrading things. I remember at my cousins wedding (french side), the men danced with the bride and pinned money to her dress but also the women danced with the groom and pinned money to his tux. Luckily my dad didn't want that at my wedding.
I have to admit the whole garter dealie doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either. Neither does the table centrepiece giveaway... How many table-sized colour-coded custom vases can you possibly use?
“A philosopher once wrote you need three things to have a good life. One, a meaningful relationship, two, a decent job of work, and three, to make a difference. And it was always that third one that stressed me, to make a difference. And I realise that I do. Every day, we all do. It’s how we interact, with our fellow man.”
I found this old pic today after having tucked it away a couple years ago maybe, not remembering where I had placed it. It was shot by my dearest Luna after an evening of too many drinks and too many smokes. It was a hot summer night and I got the goofy idea to throw a scarf around my head and pop my shades on and have my picture taken. The year was 1997, and what a year it was! Just a couple months prior to the photo I had junked my creepy ex-husband and met the man of my dreams. Seemed like a dream or a fairy-tale, but it wasn't, because ten years later, I'm still living the dream. But that's not the point of this post. 
'ideas' sound new. Right.
